


i think you'll understand

by jaebums



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anxious Thoughts, Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M, hand holding, idolverse, lapslock, nomin is really just ;; cries, non-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:47:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24377473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaebums/pseuds/jaebums
Summary: five times jeno and jaemin hold hands
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 166
Collections: comfort tingz !!





	i think you'll understand

jeno hates explaining it to people because he sounds really, really clingy when he does. he always starts out by using a metaphor.

"you know how sea otters hold paws when they sleep? so they don't drift apart in the ocean? well, it's kind of like that."

na jaemin immediately gets it.

"so it's like a comfort thing, right?" and jeno nods. yeah. yeah, it kind of is.

jeno feels comfortable when he's holding something. he seeks out other people, grabs onto mark's wrist while recording, hangs onto donghyuck's elbow during walks home from practice, and sometimes grips onto jisung's knee during interviews. but he likes it the most when he's holding hands with someone. it feels like he's grounded when he's connected to another person. he isn't a sea otter, but he is scared of floating away.

*

when he's not doing anything, jeno tends to think. he thinks about hate comments targeting his rapping skills. he thinks about how people make fun of him for not having a personality. he thinks about how other trainees used to tell him that he was only picked up for his eye smile and that he should just give up trying to be talented and-- he feels a hand slide into his. it doesn't matter if the other hand is slightly cold, because the action warms up jeno's heart.

"hey," jaemin says, tilting his head. "you seemed kinda quiet so i figured you'd like.. some company?"

jeno nods, and looks around the studio. donghyuck's modeling, chenle and jisung are bickering off to the side because chenle's insulted one of jisung's poses (or the other way around?), and renjun is getting his hair done. it's just him and jaemin sitting in the corner of the room, waiting their turn.

they sit in silence, jaemin's fingers tapping against jeno's palm. jeno thinks a little harder. what was he thinking about before? it's hard to get lost in his thoughts when there's someone pulling him back to earth.

jaemin gets called away to take his photos, and although jeno's hand is left empty, he still feels a lingering trace of warmth. 

**

he's a little hungry. scratch that, really fucking hungry. and even though jeno treasures his alone time, he basically hasn't spoken to a single human being for their entire rest day, and he's starting to get tired of staring at his screen.

jeno pops his head into jaemin's room to see basically exactly what he expected. jaemin's lying on his bed, scrolling through his phone, looking like he hasn't gotten out of bed at all today.

"nana, it's 6pm. are you hungry?"

jaemin continues staring at his phone. "no." his stomach makes a noise in protest. he pretends he didn't hear it.

well, everyone can be a bit stubborn. but jeno knows from past experience that on days like these, jaemin can go the entire day without eating or drinking unless he's forced to move. he's determined not to let that happen.

jeno rolls his eyes and walks over to the side of jaemin's bed. "i know you're too lazy to get up but i'm hungry and you're gonna cook for us or we're gonna order something before we both starve."

when jaemin doesn't move, he throws himself on top of the other boy, hearing a soft "oof" underneath him.

"nananananana," he chants, grabbing jaemin's phone and placing it on the nightstand. "pleaaaase get out of bed."

he takes jaemin's now empty hand with his own and interlocks their fingers. then, he stands and tries to tug jaemin up with him.

"fine, but only because my phone needs to charge."

jaemin, still holding jeno's hand, manages to reach for his charger and plug in his phone. he looks at jeno expectantly, who pulls him upright with their connected hand. jeno smiles when jaemin leads them both to the kitchen, still holding hands.

***

vlives are usually really fun, but jeno isn't in the mood for one today. he came to the sm building a little earlier than the other members this morning to get some extra practice and all he wants to do is lay on his bed. when their manager suggests going live as a way to hype up fans before the comeback trailer drops, he groans inwardly when everyone else agrees.

"hi everyone this is haechan cam with 37.5% ratings..."

jeno stops paying attention after he's waved at the camera a few times, opting to wrap his arms around the closest person… which happens to be renjun, who bats him away lightly.

"no spoilers, but our next comeback is coming uuuup~…"

he frowns at the rejection, searching for another person he can distract himself with. jeno tugs on donghyuck's sleeve and crawls his fingers down donghyuck's arm towards his hand, but the other moves his hand away at the last second to adjust the vlive camera. he pouts.

"you okay?" jeno startles when jaemin whispers in his ear, holding up his phone to block their faces from the vlive camera. "pretend we're looking at comments. you're being kinda fidgety, though, so like… you good?"

"just wanna go home," he mouths back.

jaemin nods at him soothingly, and wraps an arm around his shoulder. jeno reaches up to grab his hand and starts playing with his fingers.

he can see their manager behind the vlive camera, motioning for him to read some comments out loud, but it's a lot easier to lean into jaemin's warmth and rest his head on his shoulder.

****

jaemin is, as all the members say, kind of a weird friend. he can go days without talking to anyone outside of activities, opting to shut himself in his room or running off to some pc cafe to game alone. 

on the flip side, there are times when jaemin won't stop talking. he'll bother jisung by pinching his cheeks and cooing over him or chatter excitedly in the van about a new song he's found and how he really feels like the beats resonate with him. sometimes, there's an in between where one second he'll practically be bouncing off the walls and the next thing you know he's slumped over a couch in the waiting room, snapping at anyone who comes near him.

in the eight years they've known each other, jeno's seen it all. so when he comes across jaemin laying face-down with his head in his arms, smack dab in the middle of their practice room, he knows that something is wrong.

jeno sits next to jaemin, staring at their reflections in the mirror. after a few minutes of silence, jaemin pops his head up and looks at jeno through the mirror, too. it's hard to see in dim light, but jaemin's eyes are a little red. jeno reaches out with his hand and waits.

jaemin takes it. they're both quiet, and jeno absentmindedly rubs his thumb against jaemin's knuckles. both of their hands are a little sweaty, but jeno doesn't mind it at all.

all of them get lost in their thoughts sometimes. it's part of being an idol - overthinking every move, dwelling on mistakes, hearing the scathing words of their trainers after practices. there's no way to cure the thoughts, but the least jeno can do is be there for jaemin. jaemin's got it worse than anyone else. after his year of hiatus, he'd worked twice as hard to get back to speed with the other boys. but he still trips up sometimes.

"it's fine," jaemin says. he's turned to actually face jeno so they aren't staring at each other in the mirror anymore. "i'll be fine."

jeno hums and tightens his grip. jaemin practices so much, smiles perfectly for the camera, only shows the best side of himself to the fans. of course he'll be fine. he was meant to be a star. jeno tells him all of this.

jaemin grins at him, squeezes his hand, and the world lights up a little bit.

*****

it's no secret that jeno stays awake most nights playing games. even his mom knows now, thanks to donghyuck. jeno yawns, eyes still trained on his screen. sure, comeback is a few days away. yes, jeno is still awake at 3am. no, he does not have a good sleep schedule.

it's probably time to go to bed, so jeno switches off his monitor, takes off his headphones, and turns around, only to be startled by a person-shaped lump on his bed.

"holy shit jaemin, when the fuck did you get here?" he hisses, lifting the blanket to see jaemin all curled up on his sheets, already in pajamas.

jaemin blinks up at him sleepily, hair in disarray. "i literally walked in here two hours ago and fell asleep. i even said hi. not my fault you don't notice anything."

jeno sighs and goes to the bathroom to wash his face. when he’s done, he slips into bed, pushing jaemin towards the wall a little bit. he's pretty sure jaemin had already fallen back asleep, so it surprises him when a hand reaches for his own under the covers.

the heat emanating from jaemin’s body distracts jeno from thinking about anything else, and he tucks his face in the crook of jaemin’s neck, turns on his side so he can throw his other arm around jaemin’s waist. it’s comfortable, and he feels like he's a puzzle piece fitting into jaemin's body. seven years in the making. how many more years do they have left?

jaemin laughs into the dark, and jeno feels the bed shake a little. "lee jeno. you think so much that i can hear your thoughts." he squeezes his hand. "go to sleep, you won't float away like an otter."

and jeno does go to sleep, jaemin's hand warm in his grip, anchoring him.

**Author's Note:**

> completely inspired by this thread of jeno holding hands w/ ppl: https://twitter.com/m4rkjen/status/1264625176156803072 and title taken from the beatles song i want to hold your hand! tbh this fic is really just me rambling and indulging myself in my nomin feels so congrats (and thank you) if you've made it this far ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ


End file.
